yes, you’ve read that correctly. I’ve been in Edinburgh for two whole months! I’m glad it sounds as weird to you as it does to me. it feels like I’ve been here for way longer. my brain doesn’t seem to comprehend that it hasn’t been that long.
to be quite honest with you, except for my two weeks of quarantine, I think I’ve handled all this pretty well? quarantine was hard. moving to another country and having to self-isolate for two weeks without anyone else was not good. I was so homesick. if you’d asked me one week into quarantine if I wanted to go back home, I’d have said yes.
fortunately for me, quarantine came to an end and I was able to go explore the city. I immediately fell in love. Edinburgh is a big city that doesn’t feel like one. on my first day out of quarantine, I walked 8km because I wanted to visit—and also because I moved into my flat the same day—and I was so surprised that I could see the mountains! it’s a big city that doesn’t feel oppressive or intimidating.
something that truly helped me feeling better is making friends. it’s something I was very anxious about. as someone with social anxiety, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to make friends with the people in my programme because we’d be online for the first trimestre. I’m glad to see I was wrong. I made friends with wonderful people. being able to grab a coffee—while social distancing—or have study dates, or go to the bookshop with someone else made this city feel a bit more like home.
one thing that’s still hard for me is not being able to touch anyone. I’m a hugger. that’s who I am and always been. that’s how I show my affection. I hug my friends, I hold hands with them, I touch their face, I pat their shoulder/head…I need contact. even during lockdown I was able to hug my family or get lots of cuddles from my cat, but being completely alone is different. I haven’t been able to hug someone in two months. it might sound so silly, but that the one thing that makes me cry when I go to bed.
I thought I’d be able to come home every two months, something like, but as the restrictions are getting stricter, I don’t see myself going home until probably the winter holidays. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because I’m not. I simply miss being held by someone I care about. but being able to see people often is already a great help. being able to create good relationships in such a situation? it’s incredible and I’m so thankful!
I still have so much to see of Edinburgh, but it’s already a city I don’t see myself leaving any time soon. I’ve just submitted my application for a pre-settler status, so fingers crossed everything goes well! I’d like to see more of Scotland once things get a bit better, because I know I will fall even more in love with it!
that’s it for today, I’ll see you soon, have a nice day 🌿