Can I be both? I guess it’d be the easiest answer, and I think it’s possible for me to do and be both, it’s just a lot more work than I had planned it would be. Which makes it my fault. I hadn’t expected booktube to take so much of my time, and maybe I hadn’t expected to love it as much as I do. But I am.
I’m not proud for having left my blog the way I did. For a long time, my blog was the only safe space I had to express myself, and in a way I still see it as my safe space, but booktube is now a part of it. I still haven’t figured out how I can combine both, how I can make sure that both survive without one having to suffer the consequences.
I think my problem is that I have way too many ideas and I don’t know which platform would be best for each of them. Is this an idea for youtube? Is this an idea for my blog? Can I do a video about it and maybe add information on the blog? It’s still something I’m figuring out. And I know I just need to push myself to just sit and sort this out. It’s not really complicated, it’s just me not making time for something I love to do. Maybe it doesn’t make a lot of sense. I love blogging, I love writing, and in a way it’s easier to express myself here when I know people will know exactly what I mean through my words. When I talk I sometimes forget all my vocabulary and I end up saying less than I had planned on. And yet I love booktube.
Maybe it’s paradoxical, but I love talking to people. I love sitting in front of my camera and talking. I love creating something from start to finish: coming up with what I want to talk about, filming, editing (yeah even editing, something I hadn’t expected to like) and just putting my video into the world. I know it’s basically the same as blogging when it comes to the creating process, but there’s just something incredible about youtube: you’re talking to people that aren’t right in front of you. You can make mistakes and edit them. There is no stress to talking and being scared of messing things up. You get to edit all your mistakes. It’s magic.
I will find a way to make things work, because I love blogging way too much to give up on it just yet.
That’s it for today, I’ll see you soon, have a nice day guys 🌻